PARIS IS BACK!!!

The day hath come’ the moratorium on this blog can finally end. PARIS IS FREE! We’ve waited with bated breath and thanks to this website and all of you loyal readers the world can go on being a beautiful place. I am not sure, but I had heard that a lot has happened since the last posting, I was busy with my protest living in a home made prison cell and living in the same conditions that the Heroic Heiress had endured for so long. But we have a major surprise for you today. Her Heroic Heiressness has agreed (in large part to the unwavering support from this website which clearly helped shorten her prison stay) to enlighten us with some words from the heart about her recent ordeal, so without further adieu I present, Paris Hilton Galactic Empress:

Like, hello to al my fanz! Like I totalie haf to thank u all for ur suport!
Like, wile I wuz in pirson I was so sad. Like I was like totalie away from
my sell fone and my puppie dog and I had to like wear this gross like orunge jumpsuit and it was totalie like just aful and like it didunt even match anything that I like had to like wear with it. Like my shoes were totalie like hot and all but like Merciless Mary stoll them from my sell while I was in the like the place with the gras, like it had all the people in it and like all that stuff, someone called it like the yard or like something like like like. Like I could totalie ecksplane to you how like aful like the
whole thing was but like that would take for like ever lol! Like I have to
tell you this storie tho. Like I think it was a toosday and like Merciless
Mary was like saying all this like weird stuff about how she likes to like
kill men and stuff and so I said “Like hey Merciless Mary, if you like
killin men so much why don you like like go out and like kill Daunting Darcy shes like a man” and like the hole eating place was like lafing. Like that time when I got out for like a day and the news like was all like “Puhrysadkilpe hiltun [PARIS HILTON, ed.] has like a mental thing” I
was like so sad. Like I called Nicki Richi and she was all like “hey like do you want to like go shopping when you get out" and I was like "no bitch!". Like I totalie cant wate to see the sopranos season finale I bet its like completlee like..."

UPDATE: While writing this gold on her BlackBerry in her Bentley, Ms. Hilton veered off the road and crashed into the statue that I built of her, it may be a while before this blog gets updated again.

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