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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

....Today?

Listen up people, the world is going to ruin and we are all along for the ride. People are masking the key problems of the crises that are taking place right now and I intend to expose some of them with a method I call, the Socratic Method, so stay with me.

Q: How is the world going to ruin?

A: Simply put, there is an overabundance of greed. While greed is not a new endeavor, in its current form it is ravaging honesty. The world is in tatters because of greed on all levels.

Q: Who is greedy?

A: Everyone including you. The biggest calamity of this crisis is the masking of responsibility. Yes, the greed of CEO's and government officials has played a role in this event, but not as significantly as the media wants you to believe.

Q: What does the media want me to believe?

A: That you are being taken advantage of and need to say "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" thus fueling your ire while the media creates stories and legendary people to support their slipping grasp on the reporting industry. By being a goat for the media and electing their darlings, drooling over their reports of sex, scandals, 'splosions and sports, you are supporting their CEO's. But they'll never tell you that any of it is your fault. Because that disrupts their system of profiteering on carrion.

Q: How is any of it my fault?

A: Here's the revelation that the media never wants you to know :You, the working class are the primary cause of this climate. You want more goods but want to pay less for them and you want more money to do less work. This is the primary system that caused this collapse. Yes the banks gave you loans you could not afford then sold them, yes George Bush Jr. started a war and lied about its cause, yes Barak Obama promises change and yes illegal immigrants are a booming population, but its all your fault.

You wanted the bigger house, your eyes grew wide when you saw that you could get a loan for 3500 square feet in a nice neighborhood instead of the loan that you could afford for a 2500 square foot home in a more questionable neighborhood, but did you say no?

Yes George Bush went to Iraq and deposed a brutal tryant while searching for WMD's but really used those reasons as a platform to secure oil for you. If he had told you that it was for oil would you have said no? I doubt it, because nobody said no then, it was unpatriotic.

Yes Barak Obama is young and hopeful but will he change anything at all? No, he is a politician and a "maverick" at that. He has thrown around trillions of dollars in bailouts and stimuli that on the surface work, but has any of that money gone to the future? No, it has all gone to patching up the sinking ship with rags. All under the pretense of "hoping" that "we can"

And Yes illegal immigrants are tending to the farms, mowing lawns and dusting ceiling fans, but have they actually stolen anyones jobs? No, you have given them to them. You asked for more money from your employer for less work then spent that money at [Insert Big Box Store Name Here] so they could sink your employer and open their own supplier and hire cheap less than minimum wage laborers who will still be making more than if they were in their own countries. All because you were greedy.

Q: How dare you?

A: Because someone needs to say it. These are not complicated times and no one has addressed the true root causes of these crises, each other. We have sold our own jobs out from under us for the newest flat screen TV, and the newest blackberry for our 10 year old. Change is a good thing, but not this kind of change. We have strayed too far away from a nation of doers to a nation of welfare abusers. Its time you pulled yourselves up from your boot straps, stop deluding yourselves into believing that you need that mp3 player, or 200,000,000 channels of HDTV and realize that the only things you need are food, shelter and love for each other. Until we stop selling ourselves out and start working harder and stop thinking that we are worth more than we actually are, we will continue down this path of immorality, joblesness and greed.

Q: How do I change?

A: It is not easy. But stop spending your time indoors on some gimmicky device and get yourself back to a relative state of nature. A great start is to plant your own garden. But on a larger scale write to your representatives that in order for this country to become rightous again, we need to sacrifice, specifically with the downgrading of minimum wage, and incentivizing the creation and stabilizaiton of what made this country so powerful for so many years... small local dependable friendly business.

Q: Since I am too stubborn and brainwashed/ indoctrinated to understand and accept what you are saying how do I take it out on you?

A: You write a response in this blog and I will respond and prove you wrong, and me, right.

Love you all. God has already blessed America so its time we stop raping that blessing and stop asking for more from God and start acquiring what we need for ourselves.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Visit this!


Visit this and support Miss Massachusetts!!


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My GTA IV Review

So GTA IV came out today and after so many hours of other people playing it, I have to say it is safely in the pantheon of greatness along with Goldeneye, Halo 2, Ocarina of Time, Knights of the Old Republic and San Andreas. I just really wished I had the money for a PS3 and the game. so please, send me money.
*
That being said... my favorite part about about this game that I have heard from other people has to be the graphics. I mean, the level of detail is unparalleled, and I commend Rockstar's decision to make a smaller game with loads more detail (when comparing to San Andreas).
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My least favorite part about this game is that I bought a Wii, a cellphone, a laptop, a trip to London, and the necessities of life (including but not limited to food, g*s ( I'll give you a hint its a swear word that rhymes with "ass". I've been told by our producers that that word has to be censored now because of the anguish it brings to our millions of readers), and lil' nick-nacks here and there), over the past x amount of time instead of a PS3 and this game.
*
So without further pause, here is my review of a game that I do not own, and will not at least for some time...
Graphics: 10
Game Play: 10
Re-playability: 10
Storyline: 10
Price: -460
Grade: F (not the game grade but the class grade I'd be getting if I did have this game)
Blog worthiness: 10
Baddasitty: 10
Bowling: Awkward
Addictiveness: 15
Hype: 460
*
Overall Grade: I've been just getting over my San Andreas addiction, but as Don Michael Corleone once said "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in". Thank whoever you thank that I don't have the funds to acquire this drug, because they kindly released it at finals time! Oh yea... the grade:
.......................................A++
*
proof that the video game industry just might be recession-proof

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The Recent NFL Game that was Played!

I thought that not posting on this blog the last few months would take the New England Football Patriots to a win in the NFL Championship game... and it did! 19-0 baby! In the words of the great Jerry Troupiano "Can You Believe It!?" All those years of football being played and a team has never gone undefeated until now! And what a game! Tom Brady the New England Quarterback was sensational; 21-24 with 3 touchdowns and 462 yards! But the remarkable thing was that his numbers were not enough to take the MVP (well co-MVP) out of the hands of Tedy Bruschi and Junior Seau. The 12 sacks between them (Seau 7, Bruschi 4) are an NFL Championship Game record and both of them taking an Eli Manning pass for a score was truely remarkable... they can both retire on top now. Lawrence Maroney's night was stellar too, 102 yards on the ground and 1 TD are enough to put his name above Ladanian Tomlinson's on the list of any kind of stat in the NFL Championship game.





The worst night of clearly belonged to Eli Manning's dismal 5-40 0 TDs 6 INT's and 2 Fumbles (all NFL Championship game worsts). But even that is debatable when the replay of all replays that will be shown forever is considered. With 12 minutes to go in the 1st quarter and the New England Football Patriots already leading 14-0, Osi Umenyiora and Michael Strahan pursued Tom Brady and then as they both tried to bring him down he slyly made 1 step forward and heaved the ball to Wes Welker (who then lateralled it to Donte Stallworth for the 80 yard TD that put the Pats up 21-0) which caused Osi and Strahan to collide, breaking both of Osi's femurs and all of Strahan's fingers and both elbows (he would stay in the game). It was truely a grousome sight.


The moment of the night had to have been when just after Eli threw his 4th pick after immense pressure by Vince Wilfork who had a questionable hit on Peyton's little brother. Wilfork was making his way off the field and Strahan sprinted all the way to him and headbutted him in the back, Vince promptly turned around and with the wrath of Jesus in his eyes, attempted to poke Strahan in the eye, but his finger slipped and got caught in Strahan's mile-wide-tooth-gap! Strahan began crying and when VY removed his finger, the 4 adjacent teeth came with it, Vince picked up the dentals, made a necklace out of them and as he put it on he recited the old black magic incantation that follows:

Gone from whence ye came

Gone to hell (New Jersey) ye go

19-0 be we
And Tiki shall be waiting

All in all, the New England Football Patriots are the greatest team of all time. But that still has not stopped 1972 Miami Football Dolphins running back Venus "the Penis" Morris from running his mouth, claiming that his team is the only undefeated! At first glance it would appear that they were indeed undefeated, but after 2 months of digging I came across a blog from February 11th, 1973 that mistakingly had the box score from the Miami Football Dolphins and New England Football Patriots of New England at 52-0 in a Miami Football Dolphins victory, but when I cross referenced it with game film, I found that the New England Football Patriots had infact been the benefactors of the 52-0 Victory! It just goes to show how powerful blogs, time and conventional wisdom can be!





The halftime show was simply perfect as well. When the Beatles took the stage with Cream, Queen, The Who and Led Zeppelin 92 million American faces melted! And each and every commercial was perfect too! The ones written by Larry David were hilarious, the ones written by Hemmingway were magical, the commercials taken over by E.B. White were great fun for the kids and the rest that were written by Ron Jeremy... well you know where I'm going with that. But my favorite commercial was the one where I won $50,000,000


***********


In other news Hillary, Obama, McCain, Romney and Huckabee have all dropped out of the race and Ronald Reagan looks to win by default.


The stock market was up 1000 points on the news that the economy is perfect.


The war in Iraq looks like it is coming to a glorious end and the Muslim world has not only accepted Israel as a great nation but has also offered to annex all Muslim lands to the government and people of Israel.


I will be graduating college in the coming...seconds.


I will be visiting my sister in England in March (seriously)


Global Warming has turned into Global Cooling and temperatures are now normal, and thats due to gas prices plummeting to a nickle a gallon!





Keep on Truckin Compadres!





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(PS F*ck the New York Football Midgets, stupid New York, always raining on Boston's parades, literally)

Monday, February 4, 2008

The Patriots of New England

My "Reaction to the Super Bowl" post that was never finished...


Sigh....

Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!









Monday, November 19, 2007

Blocking is for Linemen



I have the most terrible writer's blog, that is assuming of course that I am in fact a writer of course. But since the summer began I haven't been able to complete a thought in any phase of my life. I may have ADD but mostly I am just easily distracted. I had blogs planned on:
  • the Soprano's finale, but now enough has been said (I thought it was a genius way of flipping the bird by the way),
  • and the Red Sox season which I am obviously very happy with, who isn't?
  • I've tried to blog about the recent strikes/protests which have plagued the UMass campus (not really though it's just the student's way of flipping the bird to themselves... idiots)
  • and I tried several times to write about the Patriots but there really are not a lot of English words to describe whats going on with that team so I'll sum it up with one Swahili word that I came across on the Internet "ontzagwekkend" which literally means "the New England Patriots are pretty!" (and their season is another way of flipping the bird, especially Billy B)

Basically this is the year of flipping the bird.....





That all said, I need help over here. My rent is in arrears, my days are dreary, I cycle through three websites for about 18 hours a day, Espn.com, Facebook.com and E-trade.com and its just pitiful. So if nothing else, just send me some links to some amazing websites! Thank you so much, this may be a breakout blog!



Image Source
Image Source

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I've Got an Answer...I'm Going to Fly Away, Hey-hey-hey

Excerpt from a blog I was working on before ADD-depression took hold
On this fine day I was in the shower (insert mental image here) and I recalled an argument that I had seen on the tube the other day that enraged me. There was a man with enough audacity to defend the point that illegal immigrants have the right to be upset that there are no jobs for them here! He really had no argument whatsoever and the host (who's name escapes me) was basically, and justifiably just shaking his head. So in the shower (by now I was rinsing my hair), I came up with a solution, but first I will bring you on the journey that I went through to reach my conclusion...


While lathering I thought, 'what had we done prior to the current immigrant crisis'? And I remembered the stories of yore. Stories of immigration rushes from the Potato Famine,


Thursday, November 8, 2007

One other matter of business... visit my other blog at http://alljokingaside.blogspot.com/, which is now a cartoon blog for some very strange entertainment!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Random Rant

Well, I am going to try my best to get this thing back on it's feet. For today I am going to go off on a little rant, Maybe I'll throw in some pics and what not but you'll have to read on to see. I have been in a rut with some terrible writer's block.

Now lets talk about sports... The Boston Red Sox destroyed the Colorado Rockies as you may well know. From a baseball fan's point of view, the non-competitiveness of the Rockies was horrible and hard to watch. I attribute their no-show to both the huge lay-off, 9 days is a long time to not play baseball and be expected to perform in the biggest series of the season. There are two factors at work here. One, the Rockies' hotness throughout the playoffs turned out to be detrimental, they should have paced themselves, lose a game here or there and then you're good. But even if the Rockies had been fresh for that series, I am not sure that the outcome would have been much different. Beckett was still unbeatable, but they may have won a game or two somewhere along the way. If the Rockies really wanted a scapegoat then they could go after the league and Fox/TBS. The playoff schedule is absurd! The day offs really impede the excitement of a series, especially in a 7 game series. I am not really sure what my point is, but the MLB is becoming a lot like the NFL where the biggest game(s) of the year are the American League/Football Conference Championship game is the more important championship to win. It almost feels like the national championship games are against minor league teams. Its a lock that the AFC team will win the NFL Championship Game again this year.

The Patriots will be addressed soon.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

To understand this post, first watch the video beneath.

Well... this is the event that has forced me to come out of hiding. Initially I was going to post about the Sopranos "finale" but I realized that was not worth my time (because the series basically ended a couple seasons ago anyhow), then I was going to post about Paris Hilton but we as a species need to forget about her, the latest Patriots "cheating" fiasco is not worth any more type because it was a blown out of proportion story perpetuated by the media in a slow sports week. But this is the straw that broke the camel's back, this video raises a lot of rage in my bones and not for the reasons you'd think.
When I first saw this video it was the camera phone video that everyone saw. It was trained solely on the guy, as if planned, but the fact that he was center stage for that entire video is not the only reason that I draw that conclusion from. No, rather it is the fact that the video starts only at the end of his dissenting rant to make it look like the police had truly targeted him for no reason. However, the truth is that he had been ranting for several minutes during a debate, not letting Senator Kerry answer his questions. In these forums audience members are (generously) allowed to direct questions to the speaker. This guy violated the rules and the rent-a-cops removed him from continuing his disturbance.
Blah, blah, blah, you can come up with the rest if you want, it will be all over the Internet and talk shows for a few days, along side Orenthal. So thanks for coming back and keep checking back for more, it gets better!

UF Lacks Freedom of Speech

Friday, July 13, 2007

Remember when in Mr. Field's class I said "I have a gun!" and everyone laughed and I got in trouble and trouble and had to apologize...well I did have a gun.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

PARIS IS BACK!!!


The day hath come’ the moratorium on this blog can finally end. PARIS IS FREE! We’ve waited with bated breath and thanks to this website and all of you loyal readers the world can go on being a beautiful place. I am not sure, but I had heard that a lot has happened since the last posting, I was busy with my protest living in a home made prison cell and living in the same conditions that the Heroic Heiress had endured for so long. But we have a major surprise for you today. Her Heroic Heiressness has agreed (in large part to the unwavering support from this website which clearly helped shorten her prison stay) to enlighten us with some words from the heart about her recent ordeal, so without further adieu I present, Paris Hilton Galactic Empress:



Like, hello to al my fanz! Like I totalie haf to thank u all for ur suport!
Like, wile I wuz in pirson I was so sad. Like I was like totalie away from
my sell fone and my puppie dog and I had to like wear this gross like orunge jumpsuit and it was totalie like just aful and like it didunt even match anything that I like had to like wear with it. Like my shoes were totalie like hot and all but like Merciless Mary stoll them from my sell while I was in the like the place with the gras, like it had all the people in it and like all that stuff, someone called it like the yard or like something like like like. Like I could totalie ecksplane to you how like aful like the
whole thing was but like that would take for like ever lol! Like I have to
tell you this storie tho. Like I think it was a toosday and like Merciless
Mary was like saying all this like weird stuff about how she likes to like
kill men and stuff and so I said “Like hey Merciless Mary, if you like
killin men so much why don you like like go out and like kill Daunting Darcy shes like a man” and like the hole eating place was like lafing. Like that time when I got out for like a day and the news like was all like “Puhrysadkilpe hiltun [PARIS HILTON, ed.] has like a mental thing” I
was like so sad. Like I called Nicki Richi and she was all like “hey like do you want to like go shopping when you get out" and I was like "no bitch!". Like I totalie cant wate to see the sopranos season finale I bet its like completlee like..."







UPDATE: While writing this gold on her BlackBerry in her Bentley, Ms. Hilton veered off the road and crashed into the statue that I built of her, it may be a while before this blog gets updated again.






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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The Red Sox


Clearly the team that is playing the best right now is the Boston Red Sox. They have the best record in the majors (26-11) which also translates to the best winning percentage (.703) have the biggest lead in their division out of any team in the bigs (8 1/2 over New York). Stop reading if it's too obvious but the reason why they have been the best is because their pitching has given up the fewest total runs in the MLB (126) and their offense has scored the most runs out of all 32 teams (205).

Does this mean they are the best team? According to the objective of the game which is to score more runs than you allow to win games, then yes it does mean that they are the best team. But the best part about the whole thing is that they have no reason to rush Josh Beckett to health. He has been phenomenal on a staff that consists of 3 1/2 guys who should start the All-Star Game (Wakefield, Beckett, Schilling and Dice-K is the half).

What would a cynic say about this? "It is early" which is true, it is early, but the objective isn't just to win games late in the season, you have to win them all season long. I liken that argument to the one that was utilized after Dice-K's first start. "He hasn't played any good teams". I think that is the dumbest argument. He does not get to choose who he pitches against, and if he is going to pitch against a bad team he may as well pitch great. One argument that a pundit may not make is that the inability to sign Roger Clemens will hurt them. This is another bad argument because Roger Clemens will not be better than anyone in the rotation except Julian Tavarez, and Tavarez has been great for a number 5 starter, at least he's been better than any of New York's starters, and what's more is that he is going to soon be replaced by Lester, which will also bolster the already amazing bullpen! Oh this is a great season, keep it up!


Why I rambled this blog out escapes my mind, I just felt like I had to write something.